I used to pwn noobs.
I used to stay up all night on Day of Defeat and snipe the shit out of annoying little 12 year olds who couldn't believe that a girl could have a 20-2 kill ratio. I used to suicide rush the barricades with a grenade pre-lit in my hand and it didn't matter that my ratio became pathetic, because it was a stupid crazy amount of fun.
I used to hop onto Final Fantasy Online and spend hours upon hours painstakingly assembling a group, running all the way out to the desert, only to pull 2 mobs and have the tank drop out because his mom was calling him for dinner. I crafted crystals like a mofo, and my mog-house was the ultimate adventurer's pad.
I used to have LAN parties, and consume nothing but soda, chips and candy for 48 hours straight, surviving on 3 hours sleep and the flashing of pixelated mayhem to keep me going until everyone finally crashed out from sheer exhaustion and over stimulation. I played Counter Strike like a boss and it always eventually degenerated into shooting each other in the head as soon as the map started.
I used to run a guild, first in FFOnline, and had a quiet little thrill when we hopped over to World of Warcraft and got recognized as that person who ran that totally awesome guild and holy crap you're famous. We used to run in-game game-shows with prizes. We were kinda a big deal.
I've played every single Assassin's Creed, and could blend better than a friggin' Cuisinart. I would make impossible leaps into stacks of hay, and emerged unscathed and miraculously anonymous once more. I was a little chicken chaser in Fable, and I was practically invisible as a thief in Skyrim. I robbed a guard of his sweet roll while standing on his toes.
Now I play This Little Piggy, and PattyCake... like a boss. I play zerberts on tummies and gotchernose and I'm-gonna-get-you!
It's not really the same thing. It's pretty awesome. Don't get me wrong, it's pretty damn awesome. But it's still not the same thing. I wonder if they make baby-sized Xbox controllers...
